27 July 2007, I felt so **cked up today! My laptop crashed. Crashed by my boyz matermind programmer. I dont know why these programmers create a pc platform that could delete it system file. Stupid! You shouldn't have the access to the system if you are using the home user application, unless you subcribe for a programmer version (no such version). Because of their stupidity to understand the vital need of the different users I have no other choice but to format the pc...thus burnt down all the files to dust!
I feel I had a dream before that this would happen someday but I never tought it would really happen. It feels like a de ja vu, not really mad for what happen (it can never bring the lost files back) but shocked and amazed when there are dreams that do come true!
Get it right
I try to fix and recover the losses by setting back the pc organization. I listed all the folders and favorites that I used to save in my laptop. This is the important list that I need. I take the oppurtunity to revise what I had before. But it leads to a similar list. For instance the list of my priority folder are 01-news, 02-bank, 03-friends&family and the list goes on..surprisingly it turn to be the same old stuff. The same stuff that i dig from the web, and the same knowledge that i had. It made me think twice and justify my real needs. What is my priority? What is family future needs?I believe it needs improvement from the last strategy but why is it still the same list? There must be something wrong when ever you try to find alternative solution it came back to square one...something wrong somewhere. I need to talk to someone.
The consulation
This frustration leads me to consult my beloved wife. She's the only immediate person that I turn to whenever I needed someone to talk to and the same on her side when similar situation happens. I talk to her about my life's future plan. My dreams for the family. Would it come true? We should always speak to our loved ones what is our dreams in this life, so that we could together work on the same path. Otherwise I'd feel like she doesn't really care about our future or hers.
Here are some of the understanding:
1. set a clear goal
2. time - the time and duration of basic plan (current, short term and long term duration)
3. backup plan - various contingency plan
4. keep priority- what should always come first ( children, family, myself)
This will be the basic draft for the solution to visualise our small dream as a family. From our long conversation, interesting questions pop-up such as: what we live for? Is it for ourself? Our children's future? Or living for my father's expectation? How long are we going to be here?
Dreams and believing.
We are not like David Beckham and Victoria Beckham in his series Beckham Soccer USA "the new begining"..start their life in USA with all the luxury. I'm just an ordinary family man starting a new life far from my homeland with a 1001 disadvanatages. But it would not prevent us from making a better life for our children in the future.
It needs us to believe (with the god's bless) the dreams that we have today will be the next de ja vu!
The term "déjà vu" (IPA: English /deɪʒɑː vuː/, French /deʒa vy/) (French for "already seen", also called paramnesia from the Greek word para (παρα) for parallel and mnēmē (μνήμη) for memory) describes the experience of feeling that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously. The term was coined by a French psychic researcher, Émile Boirac (1851–1917) in his book L'Avenir des sciences psychiques (The Future of Psychic Sciences), which expanded upon an essay he wrote while an undergraduate French concentrator at the University of Chicago. The experience of déjà vu is usually accompanied by a compelling sense of familiarity, and also a sense of "eeriness", "strangeness", or "weirdness". The "previous" experience is most frequently attributed to a dream, although in some cases there is a firm sense that the experience "genuinely happened" in the past. Déjà vu has been described as "remembering the future." Déjà vu From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_ja_vu
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